Thursday, July 30, 2009

Miserable Dentist Appointment

I have to get my wisdom teeth out next Tuesday and I am REALLY not looking forward to it. First of all, I hate the dentist (REALLY hate the dentist... its like irrational phobia except not bc it is rational to not like DRILLS going into your teeth), and second of all I am terrified of getting put under! I had to meet with the oral surgeon 2 days ago for a consultation and it was disastrous. This is how the experience went:

I arrived at the office with my mom (she insisted on coming with me) and the words "ORAL AND MAXILLARY SURGEON" on the front door almost made me pass out, but I decided to muster the courage and walk inside. I had to fill out some papers but I was so nervous that I couldn't remember anything so mom had to take control. There I sat for the next HALF AN HOUR waiting in misery when a nurse finally came in and took me into a room. She told me to sit in this giant leather chair and she started messing around with the computer directly in front of me. Confused, I was wondering if the doctor was going to talk to me through a webcam or something. Finally, she told me I had to watch an informational video about what the surgery entails and then said the dentist/surgeon would be in when I was finished watching. Being a good sport about this, I began to watch the video. The video was full of bad actors and seriously ugly people talking about how great it was to get their teeth out. THEN a dentist started talking about the actual surgery and demonstrated cutting the gums, pulling some teeth, cracking the teeth, extracting more teeth.. you get the idea. I almost threw up. Then they started talking about side effects which are too disgusting to write here. Finally, they talked about the anesthesia and its side effects which include DEATH. I started to feel queasy and shaky and it felt like the room was closing in on me. I couldn't look at the computer anymore so I turned my head away and was shielding my eyes when the dentist came in. It was very embarrassing... The only bright side was that he looks just like Mr. Rogers which makes me warm and fuzzy feeling inside.

This is how the rest of the scenario went:

Dentist: So, you wanna get your wisdom teeth out!
Me: That would be a false statement. I was forced here against my will! But I hear you are a great surgeon!
Dentist: Oh I'm not great, I just charge a lot.
Me: Jokes about dentistry aren't funny.
Dentist (putting x-rays of my actual teeth on a white illuminated screen. Might I note here that seeing x-rays, particularly of teeth, evoke a sense of nausea and fear in me): Well then, if you look here, your teeth will be easy to get out, especially the top ones!
Me (trying not to cry or puke): Wow how great...
Dentist: See here is what we'll have to do on the bottom, we'll cut into the gum and then cut your teeth into 4 pieces (drawing +'s through the teeth on the x-ray") and then we'll ---
Me: I don't want to know what you'll do, just do it
Dentist: Ok then, as for the anesthesia we will insert a needle into your --
Dentist: Well I need to tell you the side effects. You may get dry socke---
Me: I REALLY don't want to know. Can't you just give me a paper so my mother can read it in case anything happens to me?
Dentist: Well, miss, by law I must tell you the side effects
*and so he tells me and I sit cringing and then he starts to tell me that if he accidentally hits my nerve my lip and cheek will go numb... for the REST OF MY LIFE. And then it happened. I tried so hard to be good the whole time but a little tear rolled down my face and then another and I couldn't stop and I said "Well if we are done here, I guess I'll be seeing you next Tuesday!" and I got up, walked out, couldn't find the right direction so I had to go find him and ask how to get out and I was still crying and then I went to find my mom, took the car keys and sat in the car while she took care of the payments. (Thank goodness she's paying for it because I would NEVER get them out if I had to pay for it, because I don't even WANT them out!)

It was mortifying.

The end.


  1. That is horrible! I haven't been to a dentist in four years. Now that I read your story, I am not sure when I'll go back. Yikes! My wisdom teeth are out though, have been for years. That's why I'm so dumb now. Just kidding. I hope your next experience goes a lot smoother. Oh how I wish they still gave laughing gas at the dentist's office!

    p.s. - where in Ohio are you? I lived in Dayton, Ohio for almost three years. (Well in Springboro to be exact).

  2. wow, your experience sounds similar to mine. i went in for the consultation and had a mini-breakdown, like crying and freaking out. i just HATE dentists! i went for the completely out and i don't want to know what you are doing to me. they even gave me anti-anxiety meds to take the night before, so i wouldn't be such a wreck. so i don't remember anything, and my recovery was ok. no problems or anything. but i was soooo bruised, like double black eyes and swollen like a chipmunk!

    hopefully your's goes better then mine :)