Friday, November 6, 2009

MOUTH NOISES WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME

OK THAT’S IT!!!!! I have had it!

MOUTH NOISES ARE TOO MUCH. Lip smacking, slurping, sloshing food in mouth, eating with your mouth open, smacking gum, drink swishing, chomping on hard candy, its ENOUGH. STOP. EAT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.

NOTE TO THE WORLD: NO ONE needs to sound like a lion tearing apart a gazelle when eating. (except for lions.. they are in the clear here)

How can people make it to adulthood without learning to eat in a civilized quiet manner? My grandfather once had to fire someone because they couldn’t learn to shut their mouth when they ate. It is that repulsive.

I honestly don’t understand how people can make such loud noises while eating. It’s sickening. Revolting. FOUL. Uncooth. Unrefined. Ill-mannered. Rude. And actually it can even be considered harmful to my health because sometimes I get so annoyed by it that my heart starts pounding and I’m in danger of a heart attack or coronary.

CLOSE YOUR MOUTH!!!!!!!!!

And then, if you are one of those people who chew like a rabid animal even when your mouth is shut, perhaps you should consider eating in solitude.

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